I am so impressed you have it all together. I noticed you driving your van past my house away from school because you've already dropped of your kids on time and you're on your way to Starbucks for a quiet time of reflection. I spotted you driving by my house because I was looking in my rear view mirror to see which kid was singing at the top of their lungs and which kid was yelling at the opera singer to be quiet. My other child spilled his water bottle because instead of getting his seat belt on he was climbing over the seat to get into the other 2 kids business. I drive back into the garage that I just pulled out of and put it in park so that I can walk my wet child back into the house so he can go to school with dry clothes.
You are not not only always on time but you look put together too. Your hair is straightened (and washed!), your eye brows are manicured, and you have an outfit that looks like it came off the manikin. I however, quickly grabbed and put on workout clothes from my disheveled dresser because my child declares he doesn't have any clean socks. I spend my time before the 8:40am school bell rings looking for sock matches in the bottom of the clean over-flowing clothes bin. Sadly I can't find any, so I look around the house for an old pair that doesn't smell too bad so he can re-wear them. I remind myself to put a load of whites in the washer this afternoon after grocery shopping and stopping by the post office to send some skin samples to my friends. I try to make a mental note and remind myself to take Grace's teal stained shirt out of the bottom of the washer that I threw in their last night. You look refreshed. You must be using Rodan and Fields (sorry!! I had too) :) Your body is tight so I can tell you spend the right amount of time at the gym and in the kitchen. Emotionally, you are aware and healthy that you not only notice the new mom in mops but also have the courage and thoughtfulness to talk with her and invite her to sit down next to you. You are warm and outgoing so you have no problem making friends easily. And your kids must take after you because they typically respond so kindly to your directions and are eager to obey. The story you shared about your husband bringing home your favorite tea because he heard you last week talking on the phone with a friend about how you wanted to try out the new berry flavor really touched my heart. He was so thoughtful and payed attention to details.
Perfect mom, I realize you don't exist. However, sometimes I believe you do. I see glimpses of you in other moms. I see glimpses of you in me. But here is the mom I see more often. I see the mom who drove past my house who is sipping on her 2nd store brand coffee because she was up most of the night with her child who had a stomach ache (again) and is wondering what's going on with her daughter. I see the mom who didn't get a shower in that morning but did put some cute earrings on and lipstick to liven up her face. I see the mom who is doing the best she can to feed her family and herself as healthy as possible but also is thinking of the budget and how she wants to spend her time (or less time) in the kitchen. I see the mom who is emotionally drained because she felt misunderstood by her husband when they had a parenting disagreement this morning but yet she still reaches out to the new mom at the park.
I want to stop judging the perfect mom. I want to stop trying to be like her. Instead, I want to be a human being. Not a human doing or a human perfection. But a human BE-ing. I want to be. And being means that sometimes I'm that mom that made that beautiful birthday cake that everyone can't believe has vegetables in it and is only 25 calories and the moment is just right. And other times, being means that I'm that mom that carries her 6 year old down the isle even though he is over half her size because his older brother just ran out of site in anger and his sister flopped on the floor and is refusing to move an inch because she wants you to buy fruit roll ups for lunch. That moment feels miserable and I feel powerless. Both moments are being a human being. Both are part of being a mom.
Happy to Say Goodbye,
A Beautiful Imperfect Mom
