Distance is ok

One of the things I look forward to each morning is dropping Nathan off at school. He is eager to see his friends and get the day started. This morning, we were in the van on the way to his school, which is only 3 blocks away, and he begins telling me he doesn't want to go. (It was one of those mornings where all three of them woke up on the wrong side of the bed) I felt him out for a minute by asking him a few questions to see if this was legit or not. Once I determined he was fine, I pulled in next to the school and got into the car line. The sliding door opened so that he could jump out. The 5th grade safety guard was there greeting us with a smile. But Nathan just stood there and reiterated that he didn’t want to go. If you are familiar with a carpool drop off lane, you don't want to be having a long pow wow while the cars are piling up behind you. My heart started to speed up and I decided to give him a hug and kiss and gently nudge him towards the door. He stood there until he saw one of his friends from class walk past him and then he eagerly jumped out of the van and started talking, smiling, and yelling bye with a big grin. He didn't look back. (Thank goodness that friend arrived right when we did!)

We are half way through the school year, but even now, one of the most difficult things for me each morning as a mother is to say bye to my five year old and watch him walk down that long hallway with all of the big kids surrounding him. He’s oblivious that I think of him throughout the day wondering what he is doing, experiencing, and how he's feeling. He just knows I drop him off each morning and am there faithfully waiting for him each afternoon at 2:50pm. When he is gone I miss him (not the whole time, I must say being able to focus on the other 2 kids is nice) and it creates anticipation for my 'pick up Nathan' reminder on my phone at 2:45. Having some distance for Nathan and going to school is a good thing. It is part of growing up.

Dropping Nathan off at school isn't the only time I practice having distance from something.  I also have a lot of practice finding distance from that third helping of snickers or when it's past my bedtime but I just have to see one more episode of Downton Abbey.  Finding some distance from the kitchen and tv room is a good thing for me.  However, I've never had to experience what it is like to have distance from other good things, such as relationships or circumstances.  If I have too much sugar, I know the effect. In these new situations, I'm still learning what the effect it. What about relationships or circumstances that you thought you'd never have to gently nudge (or push) out of the van?   I don't know that you can prepare your heart for those times. They make your heart ache for many different reasons. And at the same time you know that it can be good to have distance or that it may be necessary for a season.  

Each afternoon after quiet time, Grace and Stephen run their little feet to the garage, climb in their seats, and giggle most of the three block car ride. When we get to the school, Nathan runs to the van with excitement and is eager to be with us. One thing that allows me to drop off Nathan in the morning is knowing I will pick him up 6 1/2 hours later. It is hard nudging someone out the door, not knowing if you’ll ever get to pick them up later. It makes me so grateful that God never wants or needs distance from me. I will never get nudged out of the van by Him. For now, I will wait in the carpool lane for those 'other circumstances and relationships' hoping the time comes when distance is no longer the better path. I anticipate the time when I get to pick them up and be reunited with them. Hopefully tomorrow morning, Nathan will remember that jumping out of the van is the best choice for him and that I will be there later in the afternoon, eager to pick him up.