MOBs

Free entertainment....watching a 4 year old boy enjoy the screams of the girls he chases, pushing other boys to the ground, climbing to the highest part of the jungle gym only to jump off like he's spider man, and then is called over by his mother to have a talk. The mom stepped away from her 3 care free friends and looked down at her son. "I mean it. I've told you to stop. Now you need to stop. I'm really getting annoyed with you. Calm down." The boy could barely hold still while she said this. His limbs were litteraly flailing around like they were swatting at flies. She walked away (acutally he ran away first) and it took no longer than 10 seconds for him to go right back to what he was doing. I could look at this situation at the park and laugh (partly because my boy was at school; this was someone else's kid).

I can relate to this mom. I may not say those words to my 4 year old, but I have thought it. I think I'm like other MOBs (moms of boys). We wonder why they act the way they do. Is my boy normal? Am I doing something wrong? Shoud I be doing more, or less?  Boys love moving (all the time!), turning sticks into guns, and knocking down lamps in the middle of their super power jump. If you are a MOB you know what I'm talking about.

How do I celebrate his boyhood rather than being annoyed by it? How do I learn and value how he is wired rather than trying to tame him? The more I understand him and enjoy his boyness, the more I have affection for him and can laugh when he tries to do a wallflip and then plays dead. I like to study him. I'm learning what makes him giggle, his most desired dessert, closest friend, what provokes him, how he eats his food. Boys are special. I've always said that my boy is a boy's boy. No roses, only guns. He does love his capes, swords, and snakes, but he also loves his mommy. He can be tender towards his dramatic sister. He compliments his classmates. He shows compassion when his little brother falls. I tend to put his tenderness into the good boy category and his crazy energy and the things that go along with that, into a bad (or how do I calm him down) category. I am realizing they are both good. His tender hugs and his full blown attack of an innocent bug are both good. That is what makes him a boy, that is what makes him Nathan. I (want to) appreciate the noise, the dirt, the imagination. I love being a MOBs!

a spoonful of sugar

It begins when you are pregnant. You get advice from other moms whether you ask for it or not. I found most of it to be very helpful and out of a sense of care. There are so many decisions to make. Usually moms are eager to share their thoughts on hot topics such as, homeschooling vs public school, baby led vs parent led feeding, scheduling, vaccinations, and the list can go on. Everyone seems to passionate about their view and I too became one of these mommies.

After having my first son, I sought out advice from others I respected because being responsible for a baby was a bit scary; I wanted to do what was best for all of us. Now with three, I still need input from others (it takes a community to raise children, right?) but more than that, I am in desperate need of encouragement. I'm not talking about encouraging my 'performance' as a mom. I am talking about being spurred on to continue dedicating my life to my kids. To be reminded by other moms that it is hard but so worth it. That being a mommy is worth putting my love of teaching, tv shows, desired shopping expenses and vacations, time and sleep on hold because of my children.

After being a mommy for a few years, I realize I need to be encouraged more and more. I so badly want to do this for other moms. I don't want to brush over what the tired mom is saying so that I can suggest my solutions. I don't want to judge the mom who is unsure of how to address their screaming 2 year old daughter. I don't want to be quick to speak and give advice to the mom who is overwhelmed. Instead, I want to be quick to hug and cry with the mom who has a strong willed child. I want to ask questions to the mom who is discouraged. I want to support the mom who had an unexpected pregnancy or is struggling to get pregnant. Rather than promoting my own opinions or observations, I want to look for ways to encourage other moms.

Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. Encouragement helps the advice go down, in the most delightful way. Rudolf Dreikurs said, "A child needs encouragement as much as a flower needs water." I agree. And I would add that his mother does as well.