dads make a splash

Yesterday I was at the splash park with the kids. I'm surrounded by laughing, squealing, crying, splashing, you know...the normal sounds. Then I'm interrupted by an unknown sound. I look around to see if the kids are ok and where this noise was coming from. My concern quickly ceases when I see a dad trying to control a large beach ball on top of the squirting water. A case of man versus water. He was enjoying himself. Not sure where his kids were...I'm assuming he had some there and wasn't there by himself.

I chuckle when I see the dads at play. Being a stay at home mom, I typically see other moms at the parks. But, whenever there is a dad around, it will be known to everyone there. They play differently. Yes, that means louder, rougher, more daring activities, maybe a little unconventional.

Two weeks ago we were at another park. There was a man with his 1 year old son. He placed him in the swing and gave him a push. If he had been a woman, he probably would have continued to stay behind or in front of the child and push him at a safe speed and height, maybe sing a song, or tickle him as he gets closer. Guess what this dad was doing? Sitting on top of the baby swing next to his son, swinging as high as he could. He looked ridiculous...he obviously did not fit and was plainly having fun. I love it!

A few months ago, we took the family up to the community pool and there was a dad coaching his two sons on the techniques of water football. If a kid whined he yelped "you're fine son, this is how you need to do it." The son respectfully responded and continued to have fun. I remember thinking something judgemental like "he should talk softer to his kids." I think my issue was that he wasn't talking to them like I would. This is exactly the point.

I need to enjoy how my husband plays with our kids. I married a man, now I shouldn't get angry when he continues to act like one. Ya, I confess, I do turn my face when my man throws my 5 month old several feet into the air. Is that how I play with him? No...but that is what I love...about my man!

the color green

I was probably 10 or so and my family was in northern Michigan (halla! that's where I'm from) waiting for the boat to take us to Mackinaw Island. If you haven't been there, which I suspect most of you haven't, it is a beautiful island where only feet, horses, and bikes are allowed on the street. They are famous for their fudge and hotels (where Somewhere In Time was filmed). So I suppose the average, or normal kid, would feel excitement, anticipation, and joy that they are on vacation with family. But leave it to Sarah to feel differently. On the contrary, I was worried about what the boat would be like, where we would sit, was it safe, who we would sit next too, did we pay for it, etc. Not joy but distress. Not anticipation but doubt. Not peace but agitation. And this was how many years ago?

This is how I thought in high school... I would mentally brace myself for the next upcoming event that I was afraid of. Once one 'trial' was completed, I would think about the next one and prepare for it. If I focused on only one of my fears, then it wasn't too overwhelming for me. This is how I coped. Why didn't I think about all the millions of things I could be grateful for? I never even thought of it. It is how my brain operated and I never fought against those thoughts. As an adult, I find that it is the air I breath. Probably because I have practiced living this way since before I can remember. I am a fearful person, I see the possible bad, I tense up in new situations. The result? Well, I'm probably not that much fun to be around and I don't feel free to be myself.

It is time I start practicing a new MO. One that fills my mind with thankfulness, not fear. I am making a conscious effort to set time aside each day to be thankful. Yes, this might sound juvenile or programmed, but who cares (did I just write who cares! wow! progress already). I think it takes a conscious effort to change habits. So three times a day while I prepare meals for my little loved ones, I am thanking God for the people and things around me.

I was on the porch yesterday and found myself being grateful for the color green. I really was thoroughly enjoying the leaves. The color was so vibrant and agreeable. Each stem placed carefully on the branch. Each one a little different from the next. Then the wind blew and it brought relief from the heat and provided entertainment as each tree swayed like they were waltzing with each other. Then I stepped back from my thoughts and chuckled. I was thanking God for His creation...yes, the color green. OH MY! It felt like a huge world had opened up. I could be thankful for the birds chirping, or my house right behind me, or the kids taking a nap, or that my husband would be home in a few hours....you see the point, endless! I'm excited to reboot my mind and start downloading (or is it uploading?)these thankful thoughts. To be aware of what surrounds me. To thank God for what He has given me.

slept like a baby

This is how I found little Grace when doing my evening rounds. That's right....she's standing up.

freedom dance

I was driving south in the van on I95 with my 3 children in the car last week. We had some sort of children's CD on to keep them entertained. I bust out in song and dance all while making sure my foot stayepd on the peddle and there was no danger in taking my hands of the wheel for a moment. I don't think you could really call this a dance. I was pumping my arms in the air and moving my head from right to left. Nonetheless, it was fun. It was fun not only because my kids enjoyed watching mommy act this way but it was freeing. To act totally silly, with no reservations, and know that I won't be rejected by my kids. No, not rejected, but praised. They loved it. I love that I can be completely myself around them. I can pick my nose; although I don't want them to imitate me. I can do a crazy Sarah dance and not be worried that they think I'm kooky. I can pray out loud without worryig if I sound spiritual enough. I can try to harmonize to the music without them knowing I am way off key.

And don't you find that when you see other people doing their freedom dance, or whatever it may be, that you enjoy it? When you see the car in front of you shaking a bit at a red light because the driver is really enjoying their music and doing their little groove, you watch and laugh. Nathan and I have been so entertained at red lights while watching the people on a street corner holding a sign, listening to their IPOD, trying to get our attention to buy something. And what are they doing....dancing! Usually they look pretty funny! And we laugh and talk about it all the way home.

Isn't this one of the reasons we enjoy children? They do crazy things that us refined adults don't do anymore. Now I'm not suggesting I should run around the house in my underwear like my little Gracie Bell (although that does sound like fun) but I am wondering what would happen if I let loose and do a 'freedom dance' around others. Ok, I won't scare anyone and go that crazy, but watch out, I may just act a little more like my kids.