no pain no gain

I'm seeing a pattern in life. I'm sure it's not found only in Sarah's life but in all of ours. I'm sure it has been an ongoing pattern since I was a girl. And I'm sure it is for my good.

I'm potty training the cutest two year old girl, Grace. She has actually taken the initiative herself. "Mommy, can I go potty?" and I heard myself say "No, not now." What?!!! What was I thinking? That's like telling a student not to do their homework or a graduate not to get a job. I needed to seize this opportunity or I may not get it back for awhile. Why did I say no? Because it doesn't mean a one time session of training and dry underwear from here on out. It means interrupting Stephen's feedings to help her pull down her Mini Mouse underwear. It means dribbled pee on the bathroom floor and on the bottom of toddler feet. It means pouring more laundry detergent in our washer and scooting around folded laundry on the couches. It means remembering to put her on the potty every hour or so with everything else going on.

My New Year's resolution is to be more respectful to my wonderful husband. I usually don't even make New Year's resolutions or if I do I forget what they are by the end of the first week. For some reason, this one has stuck with me. Specifically, I'm wanting to be kind with my words. I am the meanest and harshest with the person I love the most. I've gotten so comfortable with him that I forget to be slow to speak, quick to listen. So I want to speak respectfully, gently, and humbly. And when I forget to tame my tongue, I've realized I struggle with apologizing quickly. WHY IS THIS SO HARD FOR ME? What is the big deal in saying I did/said this wrong and this is what I should have done/said. I know I'm wrong, he knows I'm wrong, anyone who heard me knows I'm wrong but taking that next step to verbalize my regret kills me.

Last example that has been on my mind...growing herbs. For the last year, (maybe even longer) I've been telling my friend Diana and Tiff that I want to plant some herbs. Since having these conversations with them, they have done this and moved on to bigger and better (lemon trees and peppers, etc) But have I planted anything in a pot yet? Nope. This requires me to get the pots, planting soil, seeds, and do a bit of research. I know it won't take me very long. In fact, to be completely honest, I already have the pots and planting soil. I just have to get the herbs. It is one of those things I think about when I walk past the pots in the garage.

Once Grace is potty trained, it means more money in our budget, fresh bottoms, and a little pony tailed girl running around proud of herself. Once I can humble myself and apologize to my husband, it means being able to really love my husband in a new way. It means being more vulnerable with him and honoring him, which I know will affect our friendship. Once I go to Lowe's to buy seeds, it means cheaper and fresher produce in the convenience of my own back yard. So here lies the pattern. I know the phrase 'no pain no gain.' I guess I'm just starting to not only recognize it in my life, but be grateful for it.

If only I had the birds and mice

Do you remember that scene from Cinderella when the birds and mice make Cinderella's beautiful gown in the upstairs room? They communicate in animal squeels, the birds use their beaks to place the ribbons carefuly on her dress, and the mice yell 'heave ho' in unison to lift a shoe. They work together, thinking of every detail and make it look fun and easy.

My sister and I were talking the other day about being efficient with our time. How do you take care of children, keep house, prepare AND clean up meals, all in preperation to feel pretty when your hubby walks in that door? I'm always wondering how clean a house should be. When I go into a messy house, I'm ashamed to say I feel better about my cleaning skills. If I go into an immaculate house I feel like I do at a museum...afraid to get comfortable. So where is the balance? Last year I actually checked out 10 or more books from the library on how to clean your home (if any old roomates read this, I know they would be laughing). There are a few things I have found helpful like beginning dinner at lunch time while the kids are on lock down, make double of dinner and put one in the freezer, clean as I go, give the children room time in the mornings after breakfast, and pickup different rooms at certain times in the day.

So why do I write this? Because I think most stay at home moms want the singing birds and mice to magicaly appear to get a few chores done. But since we aren't living in Disneyland I'd love to hear what works for you. Do you have any little or big tricks that help you get your work done?

thoughts while washing the dishes...

The kids were all in their rooms this afternoon and I was just left with soap, water, a pile of dishes (I made a new dish.. chicken mac n cheese -thanks Cristina!), and my random, wandering thoughts. Not sure how I ended up here but I began to think of those memorable conversations I've had with those that have answered the questions "What have you learned in life? What advice do you have for me?"

I love to ask those that have gone before me about their regrets, advice, etc. Before you get married you might ask a married person if they have any wisdom to impart. Same goes for when you get pregnant or if you are choosing a career, etc. Some of those words have stuck with me and I think of them often.

Today, while trying to keep my shirt dry (don't know why but I seem to get dirty while trying to keep my dishes clean) I was remembering our rehearsal dinner when we asked people to talk to the camera for a minute and share anything that might help a newly wed couple out. I still remember my aunt saying "don't sweat the small stuff. It doesn't matter." I understood what she meant at the age of 25. I thought something prideful like "ya I know that already." But now I get it...I really get it. After 5 years of marriage it really doesn't matter who is right. And even if I am right, that's not what it's all about, you know? And hopefully in another 5 years, I'll get it even more.

I remember asking another aunt who has 1 college aged girl and one HS son if she wished she had done anything different with raising her kids. She stopped cutting the vegetables and looked at me with her full attention. "Sarah, I wished I had stopped what I was doing and played with them. You know when they ask 'Mommy, come play!' I wished I had gotten on the floor with them more often to enjoy what they were doing. I wished I had captured those moments and had savored them." I remember this at least weekly. So...when I hear those words, I try not to say "wait a minute, or hang on a sec, or not now, mommy is busy." There will be a day when they aren't asking me to sit on the floor and play with Thomas the Train, or to look at the squirrel on our neighbor's roof, or twirl around in circles and fall to the ground with laughter.

I remember sitting down next to Grandma and asked what she has learned in life. I remember waiting those few seconds wondering what 80+ years of life would say. She took my hand, and with a gentle voice explained how following Jesus was and is the only thing that matters.

These are only a few examples but these are the ones that run through my mind the most. Just another weird 'Sarah tradition'....but one that has been invaluable.