I sit here with a stress cold because the last 2 weeks have
been filled with decisions about next school year for my 3 beloved children. Making a school decision for our kids is such
a big deal. It is who their friends end up being, what teacher they will be
with for half of their day 5 days a week, what kind of education they are going to have, and
who I will be sitting next to at a PTA meeting. That is a big deal! It not only greatly effects my children, but
my whole family, and myself. As a mom, it’s a no brainer that we want what’s
best for our kids. But how do I know
what is best for them? Is it sending them to the highest rated school, or a
school that teaches my religious beliefs, or a school where they give me all
the warm fuzzy feelers when I walk down the hall and into their classroom, or a
school that is more creative and hands on? It sure is a hot topic where I live right now
because changes are being made in our school and new opportunities are opening
up for my community.
So how do we decide where to send our kids if there isn’t a
clear path? I don’t know. This parenting thing is hard. I’m definitely going to
be writing a good old fashion pro and con list and pray. I’m going to get all
the information and data I can and think about what is a healthy fit for my
children. But through all the meetings,
and talking with parents, and evaluating on what is most important to us as a
family I’m reflecting on a few things.
It’s not really our decision.
Well, it is in regards to what school we register our children at but sometimes that is about all we know. We don’t
always know who their teacher is going to be and if they have the best personality
and teaching style for our child. Are they going to like our child? Are they
going to see my kid the way I see him and be able to inspire him?
Do they have the organization skills and classroom management style that
is best for my kid? And what about the other children in the class? Will any of
them be a kind friend to my child? I
could keep asking a million questions and not know the answers until we’ve
been through it. And what I think is
BEST is not what you think might be BEST or even what my kid thinks is BEST for
them.
Take a step back. I’m realizing that a lot of my stress is
because of my blessing. What I mean by that is that I have the opportunity and
means to choose where my children go to school. Others don’t have that option. I
can choose if we go public or private (I’d have to sell more skin care though if we went private! Anyone need anything?) I have the time and energy (sometimes) to be
an advocate for my child at their school if they need someone to speak on their
behalf. I have choices because of the
position I’m in. I am blessed. We are blessed.
Every family is different. What I value in a school system is unique to
my family. Personally, I like diversity
and I don’t want them in a bubble. I want them to be academically challenged, I
want them to learn to use their problem solving skills and develop their voice. I want
them to have a community around them that creates safety and belonging. But your
values may look different. Through this
process, I’m re-evaluating what I believe is on my top 3 must haves for a
school. And my list for Nathan might be completely different than my list for
Grace and Stephen. I might have 3 schools next year (yes, I’m freaking out a
bit, hence the stress head cold). What
we value in a school can be based on our own schooling, our beliefs, our
specific child, and our fears.
So much parenting talk is about what is BEST for our kids.
Mike always tells me there is no BEST. We do the best with the information we
have. Moms especially have this pressure
don’t you think? Someone out there tells
us we need to have healthy food for our kids, enough play dates, sign them up
for a variety of extracurricular activities, oh and look pretty and have our house
clean and be interesting but don’t speak up too much. I say screw that! It’s exhausting
to be the “BEST.” I don’t want my kids
feeling that pressure either. Because that can't be what is BEST for them
;) I say I want to take the pressure off
and take each day as it comes. And of course I’ll try to make a thoughtful decision
for my kids (and I'll stress some) but what I think is best for them, might not be what truly is. Sometimes
the difficulties and challenges are what’s best for them to grow and learn. Sometimes
not having the most beautiful campus and most state of the art technology isn’t
going to affect what kind of person they are developing into. And sometimes it
is. So as an adult and parent, I will
do what I can with what I know. There
is no straight, clear path. The path of parenting is windy, curvy, and throws
you for some surprises but that is when we often see the most beauty in life.
