Why I'm 99% happy that this school year is over

Nathan runs up to me with a grin on his face and energy surging through his bones. "Guess what?" he yelps.  He tells me that his dad said there is a 99% change that we won't be able to commit to competitive soccer next year.  "That means there is a 1% chance that I get to play!!"  Oh that sweet boy of mine who always holds on to the positive and wants to squeeze every drop of hope out of each situation.

When I think of this school year ending, I feel sadness and my heart is weighed down as if I've lost something very dear to me. Endings can produce emotions.  I watched a movie the other night that captured my mind. I transported into the story and was saddened when it came to an end. When we throw our New Year's eve parties, I hate when the last song is being played and the house it empty and quiet again. Of course there are things that I love to come to and end as well: a workout, my child's fit, depression, sickness, a day at work, counseling. I guess we can feel a variety of emotions when it's something good that comes to an end; it creates opposing emotions in my heart.

Today is the last day of school and I'll be picking up my 1st and 3rd grader up at the bike ramp for the last time with them at this height, with these size of hands, with these school uniforms, with this level of emotional and academic growth. My mind gravitates towards the 1% like my son. Except in this situation, the 99% means that my kids are growing, have successfully mastered their benchmarks, and they are developing in every way. They are growing and they are healthy.  The 1 % however washes over me like a flood of both heartache and sadness because I am saying goodbye to the 1st and 3rd grader that I can never get back. They will never be this small again. The older I get I'm realizing that the time with my children is going by so quickly.

This year ending also means that my youngest will be beginning school in 2 months. This is the end of me being a stay at home mom with little ones at home hanging on me the whole day. And although I am so grateful in many ways that this season is over, I desperately miss those moments where I rocked a crying baby to sleep. When I looked into my toddler's eyes and their little hand held my finger.  When I was trying to figure out our sleeping routine.  When I heard words come of their mouth that only a mom can understand and translate. Time is something we have no control of. It keeps moving, whether too slow or too fast, but it's moving. And wants it's passed it's gone forever.

Squeeze your little or big ones today. They will never be the same as they are in this moment.  Life will happen. Time will pass.  I am thankful I have a 1 percenter who reminds me daily of the joy of each situation. If you have little ones still at home, I encourage you to look at their little bodies, soak in their smiles, listen to the phrases they repeat, take note of how they have already grown so much. For those of us who have school aged kids, let's do the same thing. Children are a blessing. Being a mother is a great honor. As I say goodbye to this year, I am overly grateful that my time with them is not yet done. I'm holding tightly to both the 1% and the 99%.