Here are some of my thoughts lately...why do women critique each other so harshly? Can I appreciate someone else's beauty without making it about myself or comparing them to myself? Can I look at a cute outfit and not envy it? Can I look at a pretty mom and assume she is nice, caring, and compassionate as well? Can I not make assumptions about women's motives?
When I was a little girl my mom said that I wore dresses everyday because that's all I wanted to wear. No pants or shorts for me. I loved to twirl, prance, and enjoyed the flowiness (I know that's not a word) of the fabric. My little Grace changes her outfit at least once a day, sometimes up to 5. That makes for a lot of laundry. She loves how she feels in different clothes. It's a game to her; I don't believe it's her being materialistic, building her self esteem, or trying to impress anyone. Dressing up is pure joy for her. The more I am Sarah, the more I'm wearing makeup, putting on a fun shirt and curling my hair. I haven't changed much since I was a little girl. I still like to play dress up. So the other night I put my heels on, slapped some makeup on, pulled my hair to a low side ponytail, and latched a big ol' necklace on my neck. I actually took the necklace off later in the night because it was too heavy (probably time to donate it to Grace). My friend and I ended up going to the Dandelion café. Ya, the name explains it enough. This was not a fine dinning experience. I wore heals and a 5 pound necklace so that I could go out and order tea and it was fun!
Staring at my clothes in the closet is more than just figuring what I'm in the mood to wear (I think it's that simple for guys). My unspoken rule plays in my head: look nice, but not too nice. If I'm too dressy then others might wonder why I'm trying so hard. I might get one of those comments about what I'm wearing that make me uncomfortable- a questionable compliment. If I'm too simple I feel frumpy. There was definitely a season that brushing my teeth and getting a shower was success. But now that I have a teeny bit more time to get ready I like to cover up my sleepy eyes with makeup once in a while and pretend I had a good nights sleep. If I were to dress for only me, I'd probably dress differently. I'd probably do funkier makeup sometimes and wear crazy jewelry (ha, maybe some of you already think I do!). But when I put on an outfit, more often than not at some point I think about how I will come across or what other women might think of me. I know that if I put on my makeup and some heels, that I might get some looks.
If I spend some time getting ready, it could be because I'm materialistic, it could be because I'm finding my identity or worth in how I look, it could be I'm trying to stand out and get attention. But it doesn't have to be those things for me or for someone else. I have to take a look at my heart to search my motives. God's creation is beautiful. I truly believe His most beautiful creation of all is women (sorry Mike). I'm beautiful because He made me in His image, period. So I can put on that black and white dress I've been wanting to wear for a long time (someone invite me to a wedding) and I'm beautiful. I can put on my pajamas and I am beautiful. My worth and other women's worth isn't what they put on, it's who they are.
I want to be more like my 4 year old, Grace. She dresses for herself. She dresses to express herself. She is uninhibited by what others think of her outfit. She does not judge others for what they are wearing or not wearing. I wouldn't be surprised if Grace and I will be enjoying dress up for many years to come!
Here's the link to that Ted talk if you're interested.
http://www.ted.com/talks/cameron_russell_looks_aren_t_everything_believe_me_i_m_a_model.html
